When my husband and I first starting talking about foster parenting we had so many questions. We really didn’t have a clue what we were getting into. After going through training, we realized it didn’t matter how much we prepared. This would be a new adventure and God would hopefully lead us through it. Our goal was to provide a safe and loving home for children in need. The following are three things to keep in the front of your mind should you choose to foster.
Preparing
Aside from the mental load of taking on someone else’s child, the material items can be overwhelming in itself. Start by making a checklist of everything you need to have on hand to feel prepared for your first placement. I recommend creating a room with multiple beds, gender neutral, and age neutral. For us, we knew we would only accept ages 0-6 because of the age of our biological child. Therefore, it was easy to decorate a gender neutral room for this age group. It’s best to keep it as minimalistic as possible so it creates a more calming and comfortable atmosphere for the child. It’s also much easier to keep clean.
I feel the most important things to have in a room are, comfortable bedding with extra blankets, bedside tables, a place for their clothes (prepared with multiple sizes), books, and new stuffed animals for them to pick out as a comfort item. I prefer Jellycat because they are really soft and easy to clean. I also recommend having a growth chart. We measure and write the name of any child that comes into our home. 50 years from now it will be nice to look at and remember each child that became a part of our family.
Parent Support
Be prepared to communicate with biological parents. I’m sure in some cases you may not have to, but in many you will and you should. In our home we make it a priority to do whatever we can to help the bio parent feel comfortable with us. No matter why the child was removed, the parents still love them. We are in no place to judge in our home, and we refuse to go down that road. We are only here to show love and kindness, and we will do that for the parents as well.
A few ways you can show your support is by sending photos of the kids. We either send these pictures to our case worker and ask her to forward, or print them out and give them to the parents at their visitation times. I also recommend sending a notebook to each visit. Every time I drop off kids at their parent visit, I write a small note with how their child is doing. The parents are welcome to write back as well. So far, every parent has written back to me stating how much they love having the open communication.
Patience
Last, but most definitely not the least, is patience. Fostering and adopting is a long process. It’s full of ups and downs, from moments of complete chaos and crying, to moments of love and laughter. No matter how long the child is with you, patience is a must. Be patient with the child. They are scared. Be patient with the parents. They are going through something you probably have not. Be patient with your case workers. They are overwhelmed. And be patient with yourself. It’s a lot of work, and you’re awesome for saying yes!
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